I can scream in my dreams.
There have been a lot of challenges but also good beautiful shifts over the past year personally and creatively. Something has been unlocked. Coming back to LA after this Kickstarter ended has just made me even more grateful grounded and - at the same time – still not fully grasping the fact that I get to make this record. Not only did this event help for the making of VOLCANO+THE SEA, but the success of it completely – by definition – has re “kick-started” my entire creative life.
There was so much heart and soul and work put into the Kickstarter that when it ended, I really needed (and need to) retreat in some way. Save a space for me. Not be online as much while crafting the record, for one. Still updating and moving, but I feel like over the past 50 days if I wasn’t on the pulse, it just snowballed.
So now, I will fulfill, with pleasure, my obligations, as well as protect that bubble around the ‘making of a record process.’ The studio is the womb. I want to do my best.
I had a dream on New Year’s Eve: It was filled with cool visions and weirdness, but at the end, I was screaming at someone to warn them. My whole life, when I’m screaming in my dreams for one reason or another, no sound ever had come out. I would struggle to yell yet nothing but frustration, mute. But this time, this time on January 1 2013 I DID a full-on dream scream.
Whatever has been unlocked, that thing that desire to be heard, or to connect my voice with what I am feeling, or just basic standing in a full connected power—it showed up in my dream. I can scream in my dreams now. For the first time in my life. Whatever deep wound that was has now been golden-sealed. There isn’t a wound that love can’t heal. Even if it’s just loving yourself. Sometimes it takes persistence on a road that has nothing more than pure intention - no clue, no plan - to find the healing and solution. Dreams aren’t just a road map, they also can tell us we’ve healed. That’s some quantum ammo.
p+l
FD
